So, why did you guys move to France?

(The following must be read in your best Valley-girl-"gag-me-with-a-spoon" impression or you, like won't get it. My Apologies.)

The Version that like, only Sam and Abigail will like, get and Mr. French* will like, totally think is funny but people like my Dad will think that like, something is wrong with like, me:

So Mr. French had, like a lot of questions.
He was like "Man, what is that all about?"
So he, like read some books and read some more and he was still like,
"Man, what is that all about?"
So then he found this, like totally cool awesome book but he was like, whoa, dude this is, like French or something. I, like totally don't know French. Then it hit him. I'll, like get the computer to, like take the French and make into, like English and stuff. So he did that but it was, like hard to read and stuff and he was, like, "What is that all about?" So then he like begged someone that he was for sure knew French, but that guy was, like, "No way, you do it."
and Mr. French was like, "No way you do it."
What was that all about?
So he, like took French and stuff and then he was, like to, you know, his wife, "Honey, I, like totally need to learn this French and stuff. I know. Dude, I'll, like just move to France and then I'll learn it by osmosis or something."
And the wife was like, "Dude, that's a big word."
And Mr. French was like, "totally rockin' dude!"
And then his wife was like, "But osmosis is, like a process by which molecules of a solvent tend to pass through a semipermeable membrane from a less concentrated solution into a more concentrated one, thus equalizing the concentrations on each side of the membrane. I totally don't think you can like, learn Finnish that way."
And he was, like, "Who said anything about finishing? I just want to, like groove with the French."
And his wife was, like, "Dude, I'm there!"

*It's like totally ironic, but yeah, that's, like his real name.**

**Names have been, like totally changed to protect the, like, innocent or something.